Mental Health

Mental health. Depression. Who wants to read about  that, right?

I dunno, TBH. I’m suspecting very few people. But, here we are anyway.

Publishing these articles is seriously hard for me to do – I feel as though they read like I want people to feel sorry for me or cheer me on (which couldn’t be further from the truth, then I’d be even MORE uncomfortable). No matter how often I edit them, I’m still not close to happy with them.

This is how I see it (and I’m depressed, so I’m seeing things though a particular lens, I know this 🙂

They’re written from the POV of “this is what’s going on in my head as a person with depression.” But when writing them, they feel like “how stupid am I? Why can’t I just do things?” which is a pretty accurate representation of the perceived everyday reality.

I also feel as though they’re too long and rambly, but context is required. You know I work hard to keep articles short 🙂 They feel long because they’re about me, and that’s hardly my favourite subject.

I’m writing because so few people write about this, and it’s important. Writing is one of the few things I can do well, so I feel a sense of responsibility to write about it, even if it’s just one tiny drop in a largish ocean. Very few people will read this compared to the stuff I wrote as a journo, but if the right person reads it, then it’ll do far more good than all the stuff I wrote back then.

But it’s still really hard to do, good reasons or no. Internal battles are, obviously enough, invisible to everyone else, and who wants to volunteer to look like a freak when it’s much easier to just withdraw and become less and less visible but less visibly freakish?

But, not much point writing them I’m too scared to share them around, is there?

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